Still no luck with my copy of Poker Tracker Guide. I’m throwing it out to the masses. I have my access code; I’m running WinXP; I’m connected to the internet through a Linksys wireless router; and I’ve turned off the firewall. Every time I plug in the validation code, a box pops saying that the program hasn’t been validated. I’ve sent an email off to the PTG support team (which I imagine is just a Phil Hellmuth bobblehead doll conveniently positioned in front of a laptop), but in the interim, does anyone have any suggestions?

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Speaking of Phil, we all know that Phil is the biggest shill in the world (next to Iggy, maybe) and will put his name and face on just about anything. Here’s the latest, with a tip of the hat to BkynPlague:

Just got a brochure for the “Banc of America Securities: ABS,MBS & CDO Issuer/Investor Forum” to be held 3/20-3/22 at the Four Seasons in Vegas.

Among the many scheduled programs/seminars….

Poker Seminar with Phil Hellmuth

Four Seasons Pool

8:00pm – 10:00pm

Do you know when to hold ’em or fold ’em? Come learn the sophisticated skills and strategies of poker from one of the most successful tournament players of all time. Phil Hellmuth has won more tournament money over the last 10 years than any other player and has a record nine gold bracelets. Find out what makes him so successful as he takes an evening out during a professional poker tournament in which he is competing to host our exclusive Poker Seminar.

Texas Hold’em Poker Tournament

Acacia Ballroom

8:00pm until ?

Enjoy an exciting game of Texas Hold’em hosted by poker great Phil Hellmuth or, if he’s still alive in the Las Vegas Tournament, one of his leading fellow players. You’ll have the opportunity to show what you learned during Phil’s Sunday night poker seminar – without putting your purse on the line – and to ask a “free” question from our host. Are you ready to lay your cards on the table?

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From the “we thought Sklansky was the biggest poker math nerd” department: an article by Jesus Ferguson and his father, a professor of math and statistics at UCLA, on the application of game theory to poker. Seriously, folks, this one is NOT light reading. If you’re the type that symbols and variables put immediately to sleep, I’d suggest skipping out on it altogether. If he’s really that smart, maybe Jesus can help me crack my copy of PTG…

(Tip of the hat to Deke for this one.)

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Now that March is here, my self-imposed exile from internet poker has ended. I’ll be putting some money into Party Poker tonight to take advantage of the February reload offer. Let the bad beats commence!

Commence Bonus Whoring in 5… 4… 3…

Last night marked my triumphant return to Party Poker. And by “triumphant return”, I mean that I didn’t suffer any mind-blowing losses or want to throw my laptop down a well. Given my recent stretch of failure, that’s about as triumphant a return as I could have hoped for.

I played 250 hands, two-tabling 1/2. I moved my roll in (plus a little extra) to take advantage of the reload bonus. Hopefully the “extra” will still be there to move out after I clear the bonus. Anyway, after 250 hands, I was down $0.50. Yes, another red session, and probably at least 12 big bets off of where I wanted to be, but at this point break-even poker looks like Olympic gold to me.

Haven’t had a chance to run all the numbers yet, but I did pull some quick data down off PT before I went to bed. My VP$IP on one table was around 18%, a little tighter than I’d like, but at the other it was below 11. Geebus. I guess it’s probably no surprise that I was playing super tight, but that’s waaaaaaay too tight for 1/2, I think, even if both tables were averaging only 3 players to a flop. That seems a bit low for 1/2, but I imagine the bonus chasers like me have swelled the ranks of the 1/2 games.

Two hands stick out in my mind as hands that I didn’t play well, but I think I got stronger as the night went on, so hopefully it was just a bit of limit rust. I also need to remember that most players at 1/2 are not that deceptive and play in an extremely straightforward manner. If they capped pre-flop and then made it 3 on the flop, they have a big hand, probably KK or AA. That sort of thing.

More to come later tonight.